Introspection

If you read the description of my blog.. introspection is very much an issue which I want to do through my entries... What is introspection? Introspection is like the activity described by Plato when he asked, "...why should we not calmly and patiently review our own thoughts, and thoroughly examine and see what these appearances in us really are?"

Everyone faces times when they have their 'backs against the walls'.
You wake up in the morning thinking "Oh damn, here's another day". That's not a very good sign! Dreading life is something that I dread of... Another issue I have is that I have a short fuse... very very short fuse indeed. There have been times in my life, when I've simply lost my cool.. I've lost my temper so badly that I've felt like throwing something at someone.. Why?

That's probably a million, zillion dollar question. I obviously don't want to lose my temper, it just happens! I don't plan for it to happen. It's just a trigger that someone presses - and that's it! I competely explode! The worst part is, that when I lose my temper - I lose control of my mouth. I say things which are exaggerated - and this is in a bad sense! I say things which I probably don't mean at the time, but they just come out. I used to be really uncontrollable.. but now I have mellowed down to an extent. What's the point of wasting your energy on pointless things? What's the purpose of wasting your time by pondering over the most meaningless things on this planet?

What I've learnt - and this is already at my age... is that we should learn from bad experiences. We are humans, and so mistakes will be made by us. There's simply no point in being in a state of despair when you've made a mistake.. I think we should learn from our mistakes - only then will we become better people. When we have a bad experience - we must make sure that such a situation doesn't arise again.

The thing I love about life is that it evens things out.
If I do a dreadful deed, I will pay for it.. whether it's today, next year or in 1o years! Perhaps, I believe in karma then. It's what one of my friends calls 'universal law' ie. What goes around, comes around!

There have been other times in life, where I've felt that I was not at fault.. I've felt that I had been hard done by. I feel vulnerable at those times.. my mind wanders into some crazy thought. I've had the support of my friends which has somehow always kept me up there.. sane and completely stable. I always talk about issues in my life with them.. it takes a huge burden off my chest and gives me a different perspective to my problems.

I want to also talk about my academic experience in what they call 'the crucial years' down here. When I returned to India 4 years back, I was disillusioned, disinterested and very capable of becoming disheartened by academic failure. I really hung in there for one year, and as I began to study a bit more and more - I got the rewards. As the rewards kept increasing, so did my interest. As my interest rose... results became a lot better Really sounds like a piece of cake,
doesn't it? Whatever I've achieved though, has not been done by me.. it has been done with the courage that The Almighty has bestowed upon me.. absolutely no doubt about that.

I have grown over the past 4-5 years. I can't imagine what life has in store for me for the next set of 4-5 years! I've made mistakes about judging people, losing my cool far too easily, getting really tense for stuff which I should not even get the 't' in tense. Mistakes are made by everyone.. I certainly hope something strange doesn't shroud my thoughts in the future.. because clarity is priceless! Certainly, I have learnt how to deal with the above said issues...

To end this, one quotation which I want to follow and want everyone to follow...

"Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever." - M.K. Gandhi