Road Sense... Nonsense!

Human beings have come a long way in understanding most of the complexities on earth. India has been in the forefront of many innovations, especially in mathematics. All in all, we are considered to be fairly intelligent people. What many people don’t know is that intelligent people don’t necessarily have what is most common – common sense. One of the things which requires a considerable amount of it is road sense – in Chennai, we call it nonsense.

I have a two wheeler and have been riding it for almost 2 years now. In India, the easiest thing is getting the license. We either bribe the Road Transport Office officials or get them through driving schools – either way our road sense is not tested much. Even if it were, there is a lot of difference between riding a two wheeler or a car on an empty street and driving them in the crowded roads in this city. It is hard enough driving/riding on a road filled with cars, but when those cars have drivers who barely know road sense – you feel your longevity is reducing by the minute.

In Chennai, the policy of the public whether you are a pedestrian or otherwise is that there are no rules. People cross the roads as if they were cows, people on their bikes and cars ride or drive as if they wanted to die very soon. Let me illustrate with an example. After I got my vehicle 2 years back I was going somewhere with my father. I was going to take a right turn off a road and so as any sensible person would do, I switched my right indicator on and was about to make the turn when an imbecile overtook me from the right side! Before I could recover from the fact that I nearly collided with this person and hurl a couple of abusive words, he was gone. I think he thought that putting on the right indicator meant that he had every right to overtake me from the right!

There is a popular style in which many of the 3 wheeler (auto rickshaw) drivers work. In a very busy junction, they would be waiting on the left corner of the road. It will strike the genius that he has to actually make a right turn. So, when the signal turns green, he will try to make a right turn from the left side of the road, blocking off the others. This guy also has a ‘thick skin’ so whatever insults any of the others are shouting do not make any significant difference to him. The same driver will make the biggest fuss of his life when a two wheeler overtakes him at a fairly high speed. You know what he’d say then? “Who gave this guy a license?”

As a child, I learnt that zebra crossings give you the right to cross and that any vehicle should stop in front of a zebra crossing when people are crossing over it. In Chennai, very few zebra crossings remain and even they are being erased by cars speeding over them while pedestrians wait on the side. The irony is that if you try to exercise the right I mentioned above, the driver who is speeding towards the zebra crossing says something very popular in Tamil which translates to “Have you informed your family about your intentions to die on the road?” It is a very short sentence in Tamil though, believe me!

The belief in India is that whenever a new traffic rule is implemented, it just means that the traffic police are going to ask for more money when you are caught. I remember another little incident. I had just finished my board exams last year and was going for a movie with my friend. At a signal, the green light was on and I was to make a U-turn after I had passed the signal. So, as I saw green I took the U-turn only for the traffic police to feel that I had made some sort of an infringement. He told me that I had jumped the signal and then told me to go and see if the signal was red, which it obviously was by then! The signal must have turned red after I had crossed it and the brilliant man had this incredible opportunity to extort me. I was in a hurry; I paid the guy some money and rushed for the movie. As I was making my way home today, I saw that another traffic policeman was standing helplessly as he saw a motorcyclist speed his way past the red light! I was stunned.

A new rule has been introduced for 2 wheelers – the helmet is now compulsory. It is a great rule without a doubt. I ride a 75cc two wheeler, the scooty pep and once a guy came and asked me – “You’re only riding a pep, why do you need a helmet?” I wanted to ask if my head wouldn’t exist if I rode a scooty pep. I mean, there is not point in seeing what kind of vehicle you’re riding and then deciding whether you need a helmet or not. You’re still riding on the same road! It is this kind of ignorance which costs many peoples lives on the road.

There is a very popular instance through which we mock the traffic rules here in India. A driver sticks his right hand out as if to go to the right side, switches on his left indicator and goes straight! I mean, mathematically that is perfect, isn’t it? A minus of a minus is plus! That’s what we are really good at, mathematics!

'Men' In Blue?

Lazy, incapable, overrated, sloppy and toothless are just a few negative words in my vocabulary which I can hurl at the Men In Blue. No one quite ever knew how apt those 3 words would become come the 23rd of March. Let's face it, India were not going to win the World Cup of cricket - but to go out in a humiliating way as we did does hurt.. even though I'm not much of a cricket fan!

Cricket is a sport which almost gives Hinduism a run for its money as a religion in India. Every ball, every run, every mistake and every selection is looked at very closely by vast majority of the public. In a country which treats cricket with so much regard, the players are under immense pressure. You feel sorry for them sometimes without a doubt. That said when a country treats the sport as a religion - the players are surely not less than godly figures! They get hefty pay packages, both from the BCCI and their endorsers. You need to hit just a couple of centuries or take two five wicket hauls to get a solid endorsement. The players are kings when they win, they are all devils when they lose.. and when they are able to enjoy basking in the glory and the adoration of all the fans during the good times, they should also learn to cope with disappointment, and the very valid anger of the fans during the bad times.

Yes, cricketers are human beings. They are prone to their fair share of mistakes.. but, they are also professionals. That word is something which Indian cricketers have not heard of for sure. Professionalism is lacking in every area in India - be it education or cricket. With the amount of money these guys take home, the heart and commitment that they showed for their country - the country which they represent was appalling. Indian cricket is suffering at every level.

The BCCI is the richest cricket board on the planet, that's all it is capable of being. It cannot make firm decisions and choices, something which I felt Greg Chappell was willing to make at tough times. The Asian mentality though, is that some players have the god given right to be in the team, just because they happen to be 'dada' or the 'little champion'. Let us rewind, the little 'champion' is champion of nothing - he has not won a single World Cup. 'Dada' is a great cricketer, but at times I felt that his ego and pride came in the way of making Team India champions. He was overly vocal during the end of his captaincy and was selfish in his last match as captain, period.

We cannot expect a bunch of "yes men" as selectors and coaches who simply nod their heads in front of players and fans. They aren't hired for that. Greg Chappell failed in trying to bring the World Cup back to India. He experimented too much at times. No one noticed the rotation policy when India beat Sri Lanka 6-1 two years ago. He made tough choices even though the public didn't endorse it. He was brave, something which I cannot say for the Indian players.

In my opinion, he is not completely responsible for the pathetic performance of the team in the World Cup. You cannot teach a team with so much experience how to bat 50 overs. You cannot teach them how to show commitment. Of course, as a knee jerk reaction - he will not remain coach and Rahul Dravid will be removed as the captain of India. Dravid is a brilliant batsman, but cannot be the captain of our team. Here's the question then, who can be? It cannot be Ganguly, who has been too selfish and thinks of nothing but himself. Tendulkar has already demonstrated that he cannot be a leader of a team. We might well be in for a South Africa style appointment of a captain, maybe Yuvraj Singh?

What the 11 players have to be taught is that they are not 11 individuals. A collective effort has to be made in order to win anything. We saw disjointed performances devoid of any sort of cohesiveness, not only in the World Cup but matches leading up to it. If India cannot play as a team, we will continue to fail and perhaps in 2011 we will lose to Bermuda too. We aren’t playing tennis or golf, this is cricket – a team game.

Cricket in South Asia has to change drastically either way. We don't have strong enough domestic leagues. We don't have people who are capable of making tough choices and when they do, they're ridiculed. The fans' expectations are unrealistic at times, but India's disaster was something which very few expected. Many people are asking for the senior players to quit. Get real, that isn't going to happen.

As always though, there will be a thorough 'review process' and the appointment of a 'world class' coach is imminent. Then, the Bengal tigers and Nawabs of Najafgarhs will definitely 'learn' a lot.. for instance how to bat for 50 overs and field properly. They will hit a couple of fifties, make their money by dancing in front of the cameras and live a happy life. For Indian fans though, the dreams of winning a World Cup are proving to be elusive.

The Men in Blue are not only IN blues, they're giving us fans a lot of the blues too!

My Reservations on... Reservations!

India has long been hailed as the largest democracy in the world.. yes that's true in terms of population. Our constitution is very in depth and our policy making has been superb. The judicial and educational systems have all been based on the British model. Indians are thus, known to be fairly well off when it comes to planning and policy making.

The beauty of policy making though, is that no matter how great the policy is - the implementation has to be done equally well. India is pathetic at implementing policies. Our constitution is based on us being secular and that no one should be discriminated on the basis of caste, creed or race. That's very fair, as we are a very much a secular nation. In striving for 'equality', our leaders today are making huge mistakes - one of the biggest in my opinion would be the reservation or quota system in education.

Reservation is a certain amount of admissions withheld for a certain class of the society by an institution (which can be up to 50% of the total admissions). After the Mandal Commission released their reports in 1992, Backward Class and Other Backward Class got a considerable amount of concessions and exemptions and the Forward Community has been suffering since. Reservations discriminate in a very subtle way. They are based on the premise that people in the Backward Communities don't have money and that the Forward Communities do. Fair enough. What about the brains though? A university in Chennai requires the people of the forward community to get 98% (agg) to enter. Backward classes need around 70% - and all the students will invariably be mixed up in the same classes!

The Indian Institutes of Management (IIMs) have now implemented a 33% OBC reservation. The entrances are tough enough as it is, with people needing to score the 99th percentile to get in. Where do people from the forward communities get a chance then? Then, people look abroad and it is said 'brain drain is a big problem in India!’ Brain Drain isn't the problem genius; it is the absurd reservation policies we have in place which are.

Reservations also have their impact on the quality of students who are eventually 'produced'. They also provoke forgery of certificates of various individuals in the forward community. Educational Institutes ask for obscene amounts of money in the name of 'capitation’ for those students who didn't make the cut off - an impossible mark to get for an average student. The ramifications of reservations are thus undesirable.

The rates of poverty have declined at a slower rate than the increase in the rates of educational reservations over the past 20 years. If you want to support the backward classes, you must alleviate them from their dire situation. We have been slow to do this and now reservations have been put firmly in place to satisfy political needs. The quality of education and quality of students will definitely be on the decline. India will still produce very enterprising individuals due to the sheer density of population, but the potential of many people will be wasted by a political issue.

So then how is this in line with our constitution, which strives for a secular republic? How are we ignoring the class, caste and creed of the people? The reservations which were intended against discrimination are now unfortunately a medium of discrimination against a certain sect of people.

At times the implementation of the policy does not reflect what the policy makers set out to do.. we certainly see that in India.

Bollywood Movies = Expensive Mistakes

Movies were, once upon a time a way through which people were entertained. They were a shift from the daily routine and a movie would take people's minds off things. Actors were people who were dedicated to their profession. They rarely ever cared about
what they were going to get paid.

Today, where every profession is in an 'industry' - we have the "Bollywood" film industry in India. This industry probably has the least critically acclaimed films anywhere in the world. The "stars" are mediocre actors at best with the exception of a few. The movies revolve around a soundtrack. The "box office" is the sole determinant of whether the movies do well or not. It is more of a business than an art and that is saddening.

Of course, when we come to the actual crux of what a movie is in India - we realize why Bollywood is not an acclaimed industry abroad. 50% of the movie's popularity is determined by the quality of the songs (There are 4-6 which are almost 5 minutes each). One of these songs is almost definitely an 'item number' for the pleasure of all the male viewers. These songs have very little connection to the actual theme of the movie and the item numbers are out of place. Very less emphasis is actually on the acting or the plot of the movie. In fact, there are more clichéd endings in Bollywood movies than most other film industries in the world. There is no appeal or intrigue which English movies depict with a certain amount of consistency. Also, there are movies like Salaam-e-Ishq which try to kill the audience with lengths of up to 4 hours. It's sheer madness!

Naseeruddin Shah, in an interview to the BBC after the Bafta awards said, "I really don't think we make films that can match those from other parts of the world. And I am not referring to Hollywood - we make copies of Hollywood. We can't match the types of films made in Iran for example, Poland, Japan, Mexico or Brazil, Vietnam or Korea. These countries are producing the most incredible movies and we are still plodding on with our boy-meets-girl safe, old formula. That is the reason I think our films aren't taken seriously".
This was after Rang de Basanti - one of the better made Indian films in recent times failed to win the best foreign film award.

Movies were made for entertainment and were never made solely for money. The passion and commitment to make a good film is lacking in India - a country where models end up becoming 'film stars' and film stars have more endorsements to make than movies! No wonder none of our movies even get nominated for the major international awards. We can keep on talking about the wonderful costumes worn by Hrithik in D2 or his dance moves in any of his movies. Very few people actually talk about his acting. People in India don't even know what a good movie is! I went to watch EkLavya, an art(ish) film - and the acting performances in the movie are sterling. Many people told me "that movie is no good, there's just one song!" That line sums up the public’s expectations of what a movie should be.

In a country with over a billion people, I'm convinced there's someone who wants to make a creative film. It is just that the public just want to watch a nice happy ending so there is very little chance of an Indian film making the grade abroad. Also, we don’t have people who are daring enough to take risks and make movies which tickle our grey matter. The Indian film industry's net worth is quite high, and it is growing an audience base to rival Hollywood. That said, the soaring budgets of Bollywood movies and the ever so boring/predictable endings are quickly making them expensive mistakes.