Road Sense... Nonsense!

Human beings have come a long way in understanding most of the complexities on earth. India has been in the forefront of many innovations, especially in mathematics. All in all, we are considered to be fairly intelligent people. What many people don’t know is that intelligent people don’t necessarily have what is most common – common sense. One of the things which requires a considerable amount of it is road sense – in Chennai, we call it nonsense.

I have a two wheeler and have been riding it for almost 2 years now. In India, the easiest thing is getting the license. We either bribe the Road Transport Office officials or get them through driving schools – either way our road sense is not tested much. Even if it were, there is a lot of difference between riding a two wheeler or a car on an empty street and driving them in the crowded roads in this city. It is hard enough driving/riding on a road filled with cars, but when those cars have drivers who barely know road sense – you feel your longevity is reducing by the minute.

In Chennai, the policy of the public whether you are a pedestrian or otherwise is that there are no rules. People cross the roads as if they were cows, people on their bikes and cars ride or drive as if they wanted to die very soon. Let me illustrate with an example. After I got my vehicle 2 years back I was going somewhere with my father. I was going to take a right turn off a road and so as any sensible person would do, I switched my right indicator on and was about to make the turn when an imbecile overtook me from the right side! Before I could recover from the fact that I nearly collided with this person and hurl a couple of abusive words, he was gone. I think he thought that putting on the right indicator meant that he had every right to overtake me from the right!

There is a popular style in which many of the 3 wheeler (auto rickshaw) drivers work. In a very busy junction, they would be waiting on the left corner of the road. It will strike the genius that he has to actually make a right turn. So, when the signal turns green, he will try to make a right turn from the left side of the road, blocking off the others. This guy also has a ‘thick skin’ so whatever insults any of the others are shouting do not make any significant difference to him. The same driver will make the biggest fuss of his life when a two wheeler overtakes him at a fairly high speed. You know what he’d say then? “Who gave this guy a license?”

As a child, I learnt that zebra crossings give you the right to cross and that any vehicle should stop in front of a zebra crossing when people are crossing over it. In Chennai, very few zebra crossings remain and even they are being erased by cars speeding over them while pedestrians wait on the side. The irony is that if you try to exercise the right I mentioned above, the driver who is speeding towards the zebra crossing says something very popular in Tamil which translates to “Have you informed your family about your intentions to die on the road?” It is a very short sentence in Tamil though, believe me!

The belief in India is that whenever a new traffic rule is implemented, it just means that the traffic police are going to ask for more money when you are caught. I remember another little incident. I had just finished my board exams last year and was going for a movie with my friend. At a signal, the green light was on and I was to make a U-turn after I had passed the signal. So, as I saw green I took the U-turn only for the traffic police to feel that I had made some sort of an infringement. He told me that I had jumped the signal and then told me to go and see if the signal was red, which it obviously was by then! The signal must have turned red after I had crossed it and the brilliant man had this incredible opportunity to extort me. I was in a hurry; I paid the guy some money and rushed for the movie. As I was making my way home today, I saw that another traffic policeman was standing helplessly as he saw a motorcyclist speed his way past the red light! I was stunned.

A new rule has been introduced for 2 wheelers – the helmet is now compulsory. It is a great rule without a doubt. I ride a 75cc two wheeler, the scooty pep and once a guy came and asked me – “You’re only riding a pep, why do you need a helmet?” I wanted to ask if my head wouldn’t exist if I rode a scooty pep. I mean, there is not point in seeing what kind of vehicle you’re riding and then deciding whether you need a helmet or not. You’re still riding on the same road! It is this kind of ignorance which costs many peoples lives on the road.

There is a very popular instance through which we mock the traffic rules here in India. A driver sticks his right hand out as if to go to the right side, switches on his left indicator and goes straight! I mean, mathematically that is perfect, isn’t it? A minus of a minus is plus! That’s what we are really good at, mathematics!