Bangalore Beckons...

At last.. something to look forward to. I'm going to Bangalore in a couple of days, the city where I resided in for 2 years. Whatever I remember of the city is good.. so my hope is that I will come back with better memories.

There's nothing like a trip that can take your mind off all the nonsense going on in your life. So, I'm going to go out and have a blast. Who knows? I might get more than I expect out of the trip.

So, in that spirit I would like to recall the theme song of "Felicity" - A New Version of You.

Can you become
Can you become
A new version of you

New wallpaper
New shoe leather
A new way home
I don't remember

New version of you
I need a new version of me

New version of you
I need a new version of me

Yes, that is what I want.. a fresh start, a new beginning. After all, where's the fun in life if there is no change?

Who Can I Trust?

Belief. Yes, that is the word that I think is the backbone of every relationship. Without belief or trust, no relationship can ever go on. Once the trust has been broken, it is hard to even contemplate trusting anyone again. You feel like you're falling into a deep, endless pit your trust has been broken. Can I give another chance? Is it worth trying to trust the person who in my view has blatantly broken the backbone of any relationship?

The mind boggles as to what can be done in situations like this. Maybe I can move on, act as if this never happened. Maybe I can say "go to hell" and part ways. All my life, I have been inclined to do the latter. Any breach of trust would lead me to believe that the person is simply not worth living, let alone talking to. I don't even care if that is right or wrong. My beliefs on this issue are strong and I don't ever think that they will change.

Why is it that today, I feel like I can trust people who I would have never associated that word with a couple of months ago? How can I feel like not even looking at the faces of people who I could have said anything about my life to at any time? Is this just a knee jerk or am I over reacting about the whole thing? I don't know what I'm going to do, I don't even know how to react properly.

One thing is for sure, things will never be the same ever again. I realize that and I'm sure everyone would realize that. Sometimes people don't really think rationally in certain situations, but can that be an excuse for whatever is said? I think not. Time might be able to put a band aid over a fracture, but the fracture will never heal. That's where I begin to think that its all futile. I guess then, that it is all over. Once the trust is gone, so is the relationship.

Life's never Easy....And It's getting Tougher!

Whenever there's been a bad week, you think - this has been the lousiest week of my life. I've just had one of those weeks. The thing is that I've had so many pathetic days in the span of 7 days, that I can't help thinking - was it coming all along?

Is there anything called a rut? Well, I'm strongly of the opinion that boredom and things related to it are brought about by one's mentality. How can you think that a person is inactive by just looking at him? Can anyone look inside the brain of a human?

If there's anything I've learnt in the past 2 days - I judge. I judge to no end and that makes me a pretty bad person. I always felt that opinionating is good. I thought expression of thoughts, whatever they may be is healthy. Well, I have news - none of that is good. There are some things which should be said, the others should be locked tight in a compartment in your brain. Saying your thoughts aloud is never going to help.

Where's the place for genuineness in the World then? How can I behave in a way different to my beliefs? This is a dilemma that I will face and I'm pretty confident that I will never come to a proper resolution on it. Sometimes, opinions are uncalled for - I realize that. Why do these issues pile up and bury you under though? Why can't things be said to your face when there's a clear wrongdoing?

That is why most of us are pathetic. We don't have the bottle to say whatever we want to anybody fearing for their reaction. That is why many of us will definitely face psychological disorders before we die. That is why we will never be able to say anything to anybody, no matter who they are - family members or friends for the sole reason of fear.

Only when such fears diminish can we be a transparent society. There are no grey areas in this World, they're either black or white, yin or yang. I hate people who beat around the bush. Only when people communicate can we make things easier for everyone. Life's already tough enough and with such trash happening, not only in my life - it is definitely becoming tougher.

Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening

Whose woods these are I think I know.
His house is in the village, though;
He will not see me stopping here
To watch his woods fill up with snow.

My little horse must think it queer
To stop without a farmhouse near
Between the woods and frozen lake
The darkest evening of the year.

He gives his harness bells a shake
To ask if there is some mistake.
The only other sound's the sweep
Of easy wind and downy flake.

The woods are lovely, dark, and deep,
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.

Robert Frost

I'm Bored and Its OK!

Life is filled with a bunch of rotten ironies.. yes I'm going to get all philosophical about the whole ironies in life but it is true! I don't think that in any situation can anyone say.. "I'm happy and completely satisfied". There's always a void, something to fill and that something has kept on eluding me and probably will continue to do so forever.

What is boredom? Boredom is a really pathetic state of mind where we're so inactive that we can barely think of anything else other than how bored we actually are! We never feel the need to do anything in such a rut. It is probably the most frustrating time of my life because as much as I would want to get off my bottom and do something - I just can't! Why on Earth isn't that possible?

I'm beginning to get so bored that I'm reading stuff about boredom. Apparently, boredom is a symptom of depression. Wow, now there's something scary - it makes me want to get up and do something! I have so much to do and no will to do anything. Without motivation and and any inspiration which would make me see the light at the end of the tunnel, I am starting the painful process of self evaluation. What's the void? What can that gap be filled with?

That is, I guess the real million dollar question! At a time where life seems to simple, I want something complicated to come along to spice things up and of course at complicated junctures, I need clarity and simplicity! One of the zillion ironies of life I guess.

The other irony is boredom. When you have loads of work to do, you feel bored because you have the same old routine and want to break away from it. When you don't have much work to do.. you wished you had all the work in the world to do!

At this point, the rambling ends.. and so will the boredom (or so I hope). Hopefully my boredom is not rubbing off on others. At the end of the day, I guess I am always bored but just don’t know it. Not knowing is the best thing.

It is said that “empty vessels make the most noise”…. I’m just beginning to wonder how much noise I’m starting to make.

Happy 50th!

There's an anniversary for everything these days, be it a wedding anniversary or an engagement anniversary or an anniversary for which 2 people have been together! The list seems to be endless! The most common anniversary is the Birthday, without question and today I just found out that there is an 'Anniversary', but not for a person.

This was invented in 1957 in Switzerland. American Airlines, Gap, Panasonic, Lufthansa and Tupperware are among its users. It is one of the best known in its field, both in a positive and negative way. I'm even astonished to say that a book has been published about it.. which is an emotion you might also share with me when I reveal what I'm actually talking about!

I've looked at a bunch of descriptions of it and they seem to be so similar to a way you would describe a car or something... "It has smooth, clean lines, and an unobtrusive geometry that almost suggests it was designed not to stand out." It has also made an appearance, if you can call it that in the sitcom "Friends" in Season 10.

We all use computers and take so much for granted. Don't you think that a font should be given a birthday too? Well, apparently this incredibly popular font is celebrating its 50th anniversary this year... so here goes - Happy 50th HELVETICA!

Whatever has been mentioned before is true. This font has hate clubs and has followers. Every brand mentioned before also has its 'typeface' in Helvetica. It even makes an appearance in Friends Season 10. It is truly incredible that we miss so many things which are right in front of our very eyes! There are so many anniversaries we celebrate these days that adding this one would barely make a difference. After all, Helvetica is a true Swiss beauty!

I Salute Man Utd, Not Their Fans...

The Premier League is all done and Manchester United are the champions contrary to what many others and I said. They deserve it without a doubt - playing fantastic, consistent football which they lacked in the previous years. They have a good manager in Sir Alex Ferguson, a man who was criticized so heavily in the last 2 years by his own fans all over the world.

I've managed to step onto the topic of fans then - this in reference to the ones I know and the ones in India as a whole. The thing is that these 'fans' actually became fans after the 'glory days'. I know people who became supporters in this millennium where they won only once before this season. So, these people have it in their heads that it is their god given right to roll over anyone else and that whatever happens - the other teams are useless and there is only one team in the world, Manchester United.

The fact is that, as an Arsenal supporter I do get a lot of stick. It is part of being against a brigade of pompous and arrogant fans who believe Arsenal will not do anything significant in the future and that Chelsea are a team made by money. On the face of it, everything looks correct because they've just won the title and are basking in the glory of victory. It wasn't a long time back when Manchester United kicked an Arsenal team out of the park at Old Trafford and then scored the most undeserved penalty of the century. So, not all of their achievements are creditable.

I hate Manchester United, not because they're the arch rivals of Arsenal, but because of their incredibly useless fans who believe that they are the sun which all teams revolve around. I guess they've never been introduced to a word called modesty... and they probably will never know what it is to be modest.

Chelsea might have been built on money, but money cannot buy the spirit and courage that their players showed yesterday. Mourinho might be criticized heavily, but the fact is that he protects his team superbly by stealing the limelight. He has excellent tactical acumen and in my opinion is a brilliant manager.

Arsenal have had a tough couple of years and could well have some more to come. The test for a fan is to stick by his or her team when the times are tough, not to just give up all the possible hope there is for a comeback. I love Arsenal and whatever Arsene does, I will take it in the right spirit and get on with life. I will not call for him to be sacked for whatever reason! We might be bad losers, but the Manchester United fans are bad winners. You guys are just going to create more hatred for your team. I just hope that next year something incredibly drastic happens to Man Utd and then, we will see the real fans stick around because the others are just pretenders.

Congratulations to Manchester United and at the same time my commiserations - you might have won the title, but your fans down here in India are just pathetic winners!

Is Cricket a Dying World Sport?

India is said to be a multi cultural, multi dimensional country. Looks can be deceiving and while you hear things like "great economic growth" and "population of 1 billion plus" we also see the disastrous performance of India in sport.

India is a one dimensional country in many ways. Cricket is the only sport which is either followed or played. Watching a debate yesterday on TV has inspired me to write this and I feel very strongly about this issue. We've witnessed the most boring World Cup in the history of World Cups and this is, in my opinion was the final nail in the coffin of a dying sport.

Let’s look at the big picture. Cricket may be a young game, but the way it has "evolved" has not left a great taste in people's mouths. Cricket is the only sport which has more than 2 formats. Why change? If test cricket is the only format which matters to cricketers, why make them play 50 overs and why 20 overs? It is ridiculous! The development of the sport on a global basis has degenerated and the quality of the teams which participate are reducing rapidly. In which other sport today would we see 3 consecutive World Cup wins by the same country?

Cricket's revenues are also heavily dependant on the sub continent. Apparently, 65-70% of the TV revenues come from India. So, India's failure in the sport would lead to a potential loss of 60% of the overall TV revenue. This coupled with the lack of crowds makes things very disastrous for the sport.

I also heard the guys on the debate talk about Indian genes not being able to withstand the physicality of a game like football or hockey. This is the biggest load of garbage I've ever heard. The simple fact is that nobody is taking an effort to develop the infrastructure for sport in our country. The media gets only 1 sport to focus on, cricket. The advertisers get only 2 types of endorsers, cricketers or bollywood actors - both of whom are overrated and not worth a single penny to any brand.

The simple fact is that for a person who has never watched cricket - watching it for the first time can be a painful experience. The sport has too many rules, is too ‘stop start’ and quite honestly is a snooze fest. A football manager once said "How can you tell your wife that you're going off to play a sport for 5 days?" He might not understand the traditions of cricket, but honestly nobody who watches it for the first time will. Furthermore, the disastrous World Cup is going to reduce the number of people watching the sport.

The younger generation today, albeit in cities are switching over to football. The English Premier League is a much more attractive viewing option for many, including me. We love watching Arsenal vs. Man Utd or Chelsea vs. Liverpool. I cannot say the same for Bangladesh vs. India.

At the end of the day, India will remain a cricket crazy nation. News channels will allot 28 minutes for cricket and 2 minutes for other sports. That just shows that we as a nation are not progressing on all fronts, sports wise. Finally - my commiserations to ESPN-Star, as they have the rights to broadcast the next 8 years of ICC tournaments. I wonder how many more formats this game will bring out by then!

20 Things About Me..

Found a set of interesting questions on another blog... thought I might have a go and answer them.. So, here goes...

1. Pick out a scar you have, and explain how you got it.

Hmm.. I have a few.. a couple on my left arm after an accident and one on my right hand after I fell down while playing football... ouch!

2. What is on the walls in your room?

A key holder, a considerable amount of switches and plug points and a 3D picture of some temple in Japan... plus a calendar!


3. What does your phone look like?
 
Moto Razr V3i with a crystal case.. so basically looks like an over protected, heavy phone... take off the crystal case and you will see a beauty!

4. What music do you listen to?
 
Mostly alternative rock.. stuff like Evanescence, Staind, Audioslave, RHCP.

5. What is your current desktop picture?
 
Waterfalls... sounds totally serene - the complete opposite of my personality!

6. What do you want more than anything right now?

This may sound far fetched but, I want to own Arsenal F.C. That's never going to happen but what's the harm in dreaming? ;)

7. Do you believe in gay marriage?
 
There's nothing to believe or not to believe in gay marriages. I'm not against them at all. We live in a multi cultural society and I believe we have to be broad minded enough to be open to everything and I believe I am totally open to gay marriages.

8. What time were you born?
 
7.15 a.m. I wonder what the relevance of this question is!

9. Are your parents still together?

Absolutely.

10. What are you listening to?
 
The Reason Why - Rachael Yamagata.

11. Do you get scared of the dark?
 
Absolutely terrified of the dark! 

12. The last person to make you cry?
 
I don't think I can even remember the last time I cried... I might have cried while watching something on TV... but I honestly cannot recollect a person making me cry!

13. What is your favorite perfume/cologne?

Don't use perfume or much of cologne.. but I'm using Brut cologne now and it's quite good..

14. What kind of hair/eye colour do you like on the opposite sex?
 
Ahh.. anything will do as long as that person looks good!

15. Do you like pain killers?

This is a strange question.. but, no I don't like pain killers. If I'm in great pain, then I might be inclined to use them but they are mostly a last resort.

16. Are you too shy to ask someone out?
 
Hmm.. shyness might be one thing but I feel it is more the fear of being told "no" to my face. 

17. Favorite pizza topping?

Love all kinds of pizza.. the more cheese the better!!

18. If you could eat anything right now, what would it be?

I've just finished eating dinner.. so this is not exactly the right time to answer this question.

19. Who was the last person you made mad?

I have no clue. I honestly cannot remember! 

20. Is anyone in love with you?

Nope.

There's Always Place for Hope...

The tragic events which took place in Virginia last month raised a lot of eyebrows back here in India with regards to security of colleges in the USA. The fact is that this troubled individual was at Virginia Tech. and not at Harvard or somewhere else. This sort of incident can happen anywhere in the world.

I have aspirations of studying in the USA one day. There's absolutely no doubt that the USA has good institutions where students want to apply. So, when we see institutes like Virginia Tech. and a guy shooting 33 of the university students - it does send a shiver down our spines! The laws are about guns may not be as strong, but you do feel that it is the Institute’s prerogative to check up on its students especially when they are as troubled as the one who carried out the shootings.

The underlying fear now in India is that any university in the USA is susceptible to such an event. The fact is that India is in itself a very unsafe country. There was an incident recently where a bunch of 15 year old boys kidnapped and murdered an 8 year old to buy a mobile phone. Does that sound civil? These boys were probably not even psychologically challenged and yet such an unfortunate event took place. The Nithari killings are also proof of the pathetic state of safety of young children.

Even my mother, after watching the news one day told me - "Don't go abroad to study, stay closer to home". While I can understand her concerns, you've got to take some risks to achieve something in life. We cannot look at the number of road accidents before getting on our 2 wheelers. We can't look at the casualties on flight accidents or hijackings before travelling on a plane. It just can't be done! We have to stay positive and keep believing that things will end up fine. If you stay in the comforts of your home, you're going to end up a protected, spoilt brat.

At the end of the day, the world is not the best place to be but, can anyone suggest an alternative? Every place in the world has its flaws and if you are caught in the wrong place at the wrong time, unfortunately anything can happen. We all live in a fragile world where is very little margin for error. All we can do is be optimistic, hope that the day will go on as planned and pray that nobody gets caught in a dangerous situation.

It is this hope, which at the end of the day makes us all live every single minute of our lives... which is why we must never lose it.

Bollywood Weddings.. Over hyped?

It has been awhile indeed since I was able to muster up some sort of composure to blog.. and I have absolutely no idea why! This was something I wanted to blog about when it was actually the "in thing".. and 2 weeks later, it has been all but been forgotten.

The royal wedding between the "princess" of Bollywood and the son of the "emperor" of it has been quite a well publicised one. There have been many cynics, totally rubbishing the wedding altogether and questioning the very presence of such "hyped" events in the media, and fair play to those people. The problem is that these people go on to criticize the couple themselves, who in all fairness have tried to keep a lid on the way things have gone on. I don't think either one has even spoken about the wedding since it has been over, clearly suggesting that the media hype was just that - not some publicity stunt by either of them.

I have though, felt inclined to slam a certain action of the entire "wedding troop" after the wedding's completion. This is in reference to their visit to Tirupathi, which was not wrong but, the time at which they made the trip caused inconvenience to many. Waiting in Tirupathi is one of the toughest things that people going there have to do - and we get to pray for just a few seconds. These people, by virtue of their position and sizeable donations got to pray to the very same deity for longer and got perks while the ordinary layman was standing outside in a stagnant queue and in the sweltering heat. That was downright pathetic and inconsiderate of what many people consider to be the "first family" of Bollywood.

The media often makes a hoopla about many events, and this wedding between Aishwarya Rai and Abhishek Bachchan was no different. No one asked for their presence or their hyped coverages. The fact is, that it is this very media which these actors and actresses rely upon to get their fame! Critics, news channels, newspapers are all what make "box office hits" - and nobody will deny that. There are always 2 sides to a story, and this is no different.

At the end of the day, we're 2 weeks down the line and the media has some other "important" issues to focus on - like India's tour of Bangladesh or how farcical the World Cup was.. they've moved on! This vicious circle will never end. At the end of the day, Bollywood weddings are hyped... and so is the release of every "star studded" film.. so I feel everything evens out!